Dumbledors GAY!
by Icewing and Scales
Summary: I Had Written this three years ago before JKR Stated that Dumbledore was gay and I had lost it now it is found and up for you enjoyment. I suck a sums but here is my try. Have you ever wondered just exactly why Snape killed dumbledore well here is my idea


"So let us discuss your options, Draco."

"My options!" said Malfoy loudly. "I'm standing here with a wand, I'm about to kill you?"

"My dear boy, let us have no more pretense about that. If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat about ways and means."

"I haven't got any options!" said Malfoy, and he was suddenly as white as Dumbledore. "I've got to do it! He'll kill me! He'll kill my whole family!"

"Really?" said Dumbledore. "In which case, let me tell you a little story." Malfoy stared at him.

"What?" he asked slowly. Dumbledore nodded, pushing himself up. Harry frowned, staring over at him. _What on earth are you doing, old man?..._

"This nice little story," Dumbledore said, "starts with a confession- I am gay." Malfoy reeled.

"You're WHAT??" Dumbledore nodded, face lit with a smile.

"Yes, I am gay. And Voldemort was my gay lover Tom Riddle at the time." Malfoy looked horrified as Dumbledore added, "He was such a good little boy; he'd admit every time he did something wrong with a cute little puppy dog face? Oh, how I miss that face. He might even be able to pull it off now, yet now he has no nose?" Malfoy took a step back as Dumbledore pleasantly continued, "Anyhow?"

But suddenly footsteps were thundering up the stairs, and a second later Malfoy was buffeted out of the way as four people in black robes burst through the door onto the ramparts. Still paralyzed, his eyes staring unblinkingly, Harry gazed in terror upon the four strangers: It seemed the Death Eaters had won the fight below.

A lumpy-looking man with an odd lopsided leer gave a wheezy giggle.

"Dumbledore cornered!" he said, and he turned to a stocky little woman who looked as though she could be his sister and who was grinning eagerly. "Dumbledore wandless, Dumbledore alone! Well done, Draco, well done!"

"Good evening, Amycus," said Dumbledore calmly, as though welcoming the man to a tea party. "And you've brought Alecto too. ? Charming?"

The woman gave an angry little titter. "Think your little jokes?ll help you on your death bed?" she jeered.

"Jokes? No, no, these are manners," Dumbledore replied. "I can always recognize you, Alecto, for you're the only Death Eater that became one to avenge the fact that you're short." Alecto gave a screech.

"You take that?" Dumbledore pleasantly cut her off.

"Would you like to listen in to my little story?" he asked, smiling. Harry wondered how he could pull it off as he added, "I was just starting to tell Draco?"

"Why're you letting him tell a story??" Amycus demanded, turning to Draco. The boy flushed as Amycus seethed, "The Dark Lord commanded us to kill him, not listen to him tell a story!" Dumbledore sighed.

"As I was saying," Dumbledore placidly continued, "one day, I fell out of love with Voldemort, and in love with Snape." Malfoy spluttered, along with Amycus, Alecto, and, most of all, Harry.

"In love with WHO??" Malfoy gasped. Dumbledore gave him a broad, pleasant smile, half-moon glasses falling off his nose.

"Yes," he said, "in love with Snape. Why else would I be so confident in him?" Malfoy stood, jaw hanging wide open as Dumbledore continued, "Tom was so upset when I told him; nearly burst into tears. And that's when he became the Dark Lord and swore to avenge me." Everyone stared at him, looking numb.

"Now, Draco, quickly!" The boy shook his head.

"No," he whispered, staring at Dumbledore. The old man wheezed as Draco added, "I didn't know there was anyone who could understand my feelings." Amycus and Alecto turned and stared at him.

"What in the blazes are you talking about, boy?" Alecto finally screeched. Malfoy nodded, looking ashamed.

"I'm in love with Harry," he said, sheepish. Alecto shook her head.

"Draco, do it or stand aside so one of us?" screeched the woman, but at that precise moment, the door to the ramparts burst open once more and there stood Snape, his wand clutched in his hand as his black eyes swept the scene, from Dumbledore slumped against the wall, to the four Death Eaters, and Malfoy.

"What the bloody hell did I just miss?" the potions master frowned.

"Dumbledore's gay!" Malfoy exclaimed. Snape frowned.

"What?" he asked when Amycus added,

"Our lord was his gay lover!" Snape hesitantly laughed when Alecto added,

"And now he's in love with YOU!" At this, Snape wheeled around.

"WHAT???" he gasped. Dumbledore weakly nodded before puckering his lips and winking. Snape roared. "THAT'S IT!" he exclaimed. "AVADA KEDAVRA!" Malfoy looked frantic; he snapped around, reaching out as green light raced out of Snape's wand and towards Dumbledore.

"NOOOO!" the boy cried as Harry's body unfroze. Livid, he pulled off his invisibility cloak and pointed his wand at Snape.

"Surprise," he hissed, lip curling. The potions master stared at him, face paling.

"Oh, fudgesicles," he said sourly as Harry roared,

"Sectumspectra!!" The curse hit Snape directly on the chest. Gasping for air, the teacher fell out the window. Harry looked out, surprised when Peter Pan flew past and grandly proclaimed,

"He can fly!" Much to Harry's surprise, behind him the Death Eaters burst into choruses of, "He can fly, he can fly, he can fly!" Harry scowled.

"I hope not," he muttered. There was a loud thump as Snape hit the floor below him; Harry cursed, turning.

"Ron! Hermione!" he shouted, arms pounding as he ran past them. His two best friends turned, frowning as he shouted, "We need to go!" Hermione frowned.

"Why?" she asked, starting after him. Harry gave a tart laugh.

"I killed Snape!" Hermione and Ron both nearly stopped, staring at him.

"Why???" Hermione gasped, running after him again. Harry bitterly laughed.

"Because he killed Dumbledore!" Ron frowned.

"And why'd he kill Dumbledore?" Harry shook his head.

"BECAUSE DUMBLEDORE'S GAY!!" Hermione and Ron both stopped running again.

"WHAT???" they unanimously demanded.


End file.
